COB-64: defending bureaucratic news

With entrepreneurial threats emerging across the Internet, formulating strategic plans to establish working groups to improve organizational security must be considered imperative by all essential bureaucracies. Fortunately, Google is here to help.  An organization totally lacking any managerial hierarchy recently attempted to infiltrate Google News.  With the help of a form letter, Google tentatively rejected the intrusion.  That letter noted:

We don’t include sites that are written and maintained by one individual. We currently only include articles from sources that could be considered organizations, generally characterized by multiple writers and editors, availability of organizational information, and accessible contact information.

This letter also noted that this policy applies only at this time and is subject to future reconsideration.  That’s good bureaucratic practice.  We suggest that Google reconsider and strength its tripartite organizational threshold criteria (TOTC).  A respectable news organizations needs more than multiple writers and editors.  It needs many, many editors, including sub-editors, section editors, division editors, and managing editors.  Writers should be separated at least into headline writers, opinion writers, feature writers, news writers, and beaten writers.  A meeting to establish a committee to redraft the TOTC should be scheduled immediately.

In other bureaucratic news this month, winterspeak has declared, “Accountants don’t notice that macroeconomics is wrong because they are imaginationless grinds.”  Persons who are always imagining things belong in mental hospitals.  Grinding out work, day in and day out, has built this world into what it is today.

YouTube is launching more than 100 new channels of exclusive video content.  Not one of them is squarely addressed to bureaucrats and bureaucratic interests.  Merely claiming that these new channels are “original” is no excuse for this inexcusable exclusion.  Without a stream of programming like Desk Set, Office Space, La Meurte de un Burócrata, and Groundhog Day, YouTube will never be able to absorb a huge amount of viewers’ time.

Eric Schmidt, a Google high-level manager, is criticizing government bureaucrats.  This is a clever strategic faint.  But the careful reader can see through it.  Consider Schmidt’s statement:

Mr. Schmidt recounted a dinner in 1995 featuring a talk by Andy Grove, a founder of Intel: “He says, ‘This is easy to understand. High tech runs three times faster than normal businesses. And the government runs three times slower than normal businesses. So we have a nine-times gap.’ All of my experiences are consistent with Andy Grove’s observation.”

In other words, Schmidt recognizes the value of a policy calculation that Andy Grove made about 16 years ago.  That’s called enduring value.  For those lost in the day-trading mentality without any sense of enduring value, realize that bureaucracy is forever.  Bureaucracy will continue to exist long after Intel has produced the last x86 microprocessor chip for a desktop computer.  Google is betting that the tortoise will win the race.  You should be, too.

That’s all for this month’s Carnival of Bureaucrats.  Enjoy previous bureaucratic carnivals here.  Nominations of posts to be considered for inclusion in next month’s carnival should be submitted using Form 376: Application for Bureaucratic Recognition.

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